You May Be a Poseur

You May Be a Poseur

You know Jeff Foxworthy’s classic saying, “You may be a redneck”. . . routine? Listen to my version of the poseur signs.

If you grown a goatee and mustache because you thought it would look good onstage, you may be a poseur.Rockstar poseur

If you are a young women who writes folky songs while watching Grey’s Anatomy, then your band slams brash, distorted guitars on top while you chirp out junior high lyrics, you may be a poseur.

If you think a 1974 Fender Strat is worth $1800, you may be a poseur.

If you’ve been pumping up the gym because you think you will look better wearing no shirt on stage, you may be a poseur.

If the crotch of your jeans is any lower than where Miami is on the map of Florida, you may be a poseur.

If you have changed the part in your hair over the last 6 months to the middle, you may be a poseur.

If it’s July and you are wearing combat boots that your mom bought for you, you may be a poseur.

If you worry constantly about being a poseur, you may be a poseur.

If anyone writes your band’s name on a school book cover made from made a grocery bag, you may be a poseur.

If you are a talented musician’s but play sloppy because you think its cool, you may be a poseur.

If are wearing a bandana around your head with a full head of hair, you may be a poseur.

If you ever picked up a guitar at a guitar store and start playing any Nirvana’s riffs, you may be a poseur.

If you’ve ever slapped your band’s sticker on the coin catcher on the turnpike, you may be a poseur.

If you carry your dirty clothes to the laundry mat in your gig bag, you may be a poseur.

If you are at the Hard Rock Café, standing under Ringo’s bass drum that says “The Beatles” and you act like no big deal, you may be a poseur.

If your CD cover has any thing to do with skulls, you may be a poseur.

If you beg your brother to roadie your gig, then order him around like Axl Rose, you may be a poseur.

If you are wearing a plastic laminate saying “All Access” and you aren’t even at a concert, you may be a poseur.

If you girlfriend goes out of her way to dress exactly like you, you may be a poseur.

If you spit light beer into the crowd, you may be a poseur.

If your guitar is slung low enough to kill ants, you may be a poseur.

If you puckered your lips in the promo pic, you may be a poseur.

If the amount of drums in your kit is more than the years you’ve been playing, you may be a poseur.

If you’ve used your law degree to turn down demo tapes, you may be a poseur.

If you use the word Seattle to describe your band’s sound, you may be a poseur.

If the entourage you bring to a gig (managers, roadies) is larger than your audience, you may be a poseur.

If you stop in the middle of a song because you broke a string, you may be a poseur.

If your guitar picks have your name imprinted on them, you may be a poseur.

If the club manager doesn’t complain about you jamming too loud, you may be a poseur.

If you sit at a computer writing complaints about everything having to do with the music business instead of actually going out and gigging, you may be a poseur.

 

Tribute to Duane Allman & Berry Oakley

Duane Allman BrothersDuane Allman’s future looked blindingly bright in the fall of October 1971. The Allman Brothers Band had just seen the three years of hardcore touring pay off in fashion. Their third release, the live double album At Filmore East, had gone Gold, and both the band and Duane were being hailed as rock visionaries. Sessions for the Filmore follow-up, Eat a Peach, were going well in Miami, with sings like “Blue Sky” and “Little Martha” already in the trash, when the band took a break and returned to the their home in Georgia.

 

At dusk on October 29, shortly after he left the band’s “Big House” on his Harley Duane swerved to avoid a construction truck an was sent flying through the air. Following three hours of emergency surgery, he was declared dead, one month away from his 25th birthday. It was a stunning blow for the band, but they returned to the studio and finished Eat a Peach. It was released several months later “dedicated to a brother.”

 

Just over a year afterward, on November 11, 1972, while the band was recording Brothers and Sisters in Macon, bassist Berry Oakley was in a motorcycle accident eerily similar to Duane’s just three blocks from the site of the guitarist’s mishaps. Though he rose from the wreck and went home, seemingly unscathed, Oakley was rushed to the hospital within the hour, where he died of massive internal hemorrhaging. Again, the band staggered and carried on.

 

Oakley and Allman are buried side by side on a landing in the hilly Rose Hill Cemetery, a beautiful Civil War-era resting place where the band spent many a night hanging out and writing songs. Just around the bend lies the grave of Elizabeth Reed, in memory of whom Dickey Betts titled on of the band’s signature tunes.

 

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